


Fear and Uncertainty

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gift for a friend, M/M, Nightmares, god i love them, happy birthday vena!!!!, late night banter, these two are so good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 11:41:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20007718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A revelation as a result of late night banter





	Fear and Uncertainty

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a really good friend of mine because her birthday is tomorrow  
> I really hope she has a good day, I appreciate you a lot Vena dear!!  
> Have a wonderful day and I hope you enjoy this!

Ambrose didn’t really remember the first time he or Gail had woken up from a nightmare, they both did far too often to remember the individual times. Bur today was a day in which he had been unable to sleep, and so he sat there, watching the other with a fondness that he wasn’t sure what to think of, so he ignored it. 

Gail seemed peaceful, if only for a moment, his white hair messy on the pillow and face relaxed, although the look was soon disrupted by his face scrunching up in fear, breath quickening from the nightmare. Ambrose wasn’t sure if he should wake him up or not, so he waited a moment, watching him from where he sat on a chair placed in the room.

He had spent a long time with Gail, it had been at least a few years since the day they met, and he remembered it quite clearly. The fear he felt at seeing Gail’s knife pointed at him was fresh in his mind as if it had happened yesterday, but he wasn’t angry, that was only a moment that had woken him up from the state he had been in before. 

He remembered the heavy feeling of his hair, past his shoulders and covering his face, a shield in which he could hide behind, one that he had felt always kept him safe until the moment that knife was pointed at him, and he realized that his hair wasn’t protecting him more than it was weighing him down.

Regret was not an emotion that came to mind when he thought of that moment, or really any moment with Gail, the only time he ever felt regret was times like these, where fear was present on his friends face and he didn’t know how to help, although he supposed regret really wasn’t the right word. Anger, maybe, at the ones who had caused his fear. 

He would be angry at himself as well, for never helping, but the looks of relief he could catch occasionally when he was there when Gail woke up made him forget that anger. But then a gasp and Gail sitting up ripped him from his thoughts, and he refocused his attention on the other. 

“What are you looking at, cyclops?” 

Ambrose laughed, “I was just making sure you’re okay, that’s all.” He replied, a light smile tugging at his lips. “I see you won’t ever let go of the cyclops thing, will you?” 

“Not unless it bothers you.”

Ambrose shook his head, “I don’t mind, it’s amusing, really.” He brushed his fingers under the his eye where his scar was in thought, “I was thinking about the first day we met, actually, before you woke up.”

Gail seemed to stiffen, just slightly, but it would have been difficult for anyone but Ambrose to notice, and the only reason he did is because he had been with Gail every day for years.

“What about it?”

“Do you remember when you pulled your knife out?” He asked, Gail nodded.

“I remember the fear I felt so so clearly, but I also feel relief, now, I’m glad for that encounter, you know? Glad because it made me wake up, showed me that I was weighing myself down hiding what I couldn’t fix, so I suppose I could say thank you, for that.”

Gail scoffed, “Why thank me for pulling a knife out on you? That’s not a good thing.”

Ambrose laughed, “You’re right, although I think we both learned from it, yeah?” 

“Hm, I guess so.”

Ambrose smiled, “So then really I’m glad to have been able to stick around you this entire time, I’ve learned more with you than I could have anyone else.” 

“You sound like you’re confessing your love to me.” Gail responded with a fake disgust, “I just let you hang around so you didn’t die out on the streets.”

Love? He supposed love was a feeling he felt for Gail, or it might be, he had never felt love, so he wasn’t sure.

“I think that’s why you let me stick around at first, but now? Now I think you just enjoy my company.” Ambrose responded, standing up from the chair and making his way towards his own bed, “And don’t deny it because I know it’s true.”

Ambrose snuck a glance at Gail, laughing a little at the look of irritation on his voice, “What? I’m right and you know it.”

“I just think you’re a dumbass, cyclops, now lay down, we need to leave tomorrow.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to lay with you?” 

Gail looked a little shocked, then, but then frowned and shook his head, “I’d rather not, what if one of us has to take a piss and wakes the other up?”

“Hm, I suppose you’re right.” Ambrose lay down across his bed, staring at the ceiling, he really wasn’t tired.

They sat there, Gail now laying down, and Ambrose staring at the ceiling for what could have been hours before Ambrose spoke up again, “What do you think of love?”

“I don’t know, why are you asking?” Gail said, sounding almost annoyed.

“I was just thinking, because I’m not really sure what love is like? I’ve never really felt it for anyone..” 

“Well I wouldn’t know either.”

They both went silent again, and Ambrose wondered what Gail was thinking, but instead of worrying too much he just turned and covered himself in his blankets finally, thinking fondly of silly things Gail had done as lay there. 

They both still had many boundaries, even after all these years, and Gail rarely asked Ambrose questions of his life, Ambrose doing the same, but to show his trust in the other he often shared information of himself, of his life, especially now after all this time. 

So, with the possibility of love on his mind, Ambrose drifted off into sleep, a more peaceful sleep than he had experienced in quite some time, and he hoped that Gail too, would finally be able to sleep without waking in fear. 

If he deserved anything, it would be the chance to live freely and happily, and that’s all Ambrose could ever wish for the other.

  
_ Oh, maybe I do love him _


End file.
